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Sleep ParalysisThe demon visited me once again today.

Yes, today. Not tonight or the night before or after; times you’d think a demon would be out. This demon knows no such boundaries, it would seem, and so it usually visits me in the morning.

I lay in bed, having woken up much earlier than I wanted or needed to, with my eyes shut in hopes of remedying the situation. My body relaxed several times, and I felt sleep just within my grasp…
But several times my body found some fault with the split second-imagery of my dreams and jolted me awake, leaving me frustrated, but not deterred.
I would prefer it to what happens next.
The final time I shut
I used to want to die.Take a look at this papers background… It’s blank right?
That’s what your life is every day if you do nothing about it.
The world is your canvas you paint it, not anyone else.
Pick up your paint brush and paint a beautiful sky that you want to see everyday
Or YOU choose to paint a tornado that takes everything from you, and eventually takes your life if you paint it too many times.
Trust me. It isn’t worth it. I know that’s it is hard, you tell me you can’t do it but you can. My God or your God believes you can get through this!
He believes that you are tougher than every person around you.
He believes th
Forever LetterDear You,

I've known you for a long time and I thought that we could tell
each other anything, but now I know it isn't true. I knew that
your condition was worsening, but I didn't know it was so bad.
I found out that you had cancer the other day. You tried to hide
it from me, but I found the chemo dates in that pocket in your
bag you thought hid everything from the world. From me. From
me, your only trusted person in the universe. And that's not all
I discovered.

Those chemotherapy dates were expired, past. You've been through
maybe six or seven tests now. And I talked to your doctor about
it and he told me that you have maybe three weeks l
I reread the note todayHe was so self-conscious that he began to come across as bizarre: a thin young man with gaunt cheekbones who slouched around the edges of conversations waiting for a chance to politely cut in, but to those more extroverted he seemed a creep or a voyeur. I knew him a year in silent passing before we had a conversation on the winding staircase beside the wall of windows.

Paused with intention, he stood above me and, backlit by a pale grey January morning, I could see all the blackened angles of his figure in contrast with his hands which rested bright upon the railing: smooth and golden, sparsely haired. When he smiled, he bared all his teeth,
Important   You see a different side of a people when they sleep. Some people become rolling and boiling oceans, thrashing around in fits of emotional rage. Others become soft trains, riding down a long peaceful track. Even still, some make an unconscious decision to tell you their life story.
    For me, my person becomes a beautiful place of serenity. Whilst he's awake, he's comical, vibrant, and alive. But sleeping, all of those wonderful attributes that make him him, they all become much quieter. All stress and anxiety seemingly disappear from under his radar, leaving only peace of mind and calm. While sleeping, he is more than beautiful.
    Sleep is important. But for me, it is not for the reasons scientists say it is. It is a chance to find beauty in those around you where you may not commonly see it, Sleep is a chance to hold someone close, when you're too fearful while conscious.
    Find your beauty. N
CrookedThere is an old nursery rhyme that tells us about the Crooked Man, and everything he had was crooked. I ask how one could live...live a crooked life. How could someone that is broken...stay in a broken house...surround himself with crooked things? I am my own crooked man, and I can give you the answer. You cannot live a crooked, broken life. Your soul, flesh, and bone may live, but you as a person cannot. Day by day, crooked events envelope you deeper...deeper...deeper into darkness. Crookedness is a demon that twists you...warps you...but it does not cause your pain. Some of us...some of us are destined for crookedness. I've led my life alon
SometimesSometimes, you feel like giving up. In your mind, you had given up all hope and all that’s left to do is to quietly disappear in a corner. Perhaps you didn’t have enough courage to continue moving on; afraid of failure, you stand still in the road called life, unsure of what to do next. Fear of being unable to stop what’s going to happen next, fear of being unable to prevent that same mishap from happening again, fear of falling again after that one thousand failures. Because of that fear, you’re moving further from me.

“Now all I want to do is forget this ever happened. Forget it all, go to sleep, and never wak
The Standard TwistWhat’s considered Normal
If we're all considered Odd,

Is Normal having no beliefs,
Is Normal loving God?

Is Normal picking up a smoke,
And lying down to rest,

Is Normal being better than you can be,
Is Normal really the best?

Is Normal a thing I can strive for,
Is it something I should be,

Is Normal the word you'd use to describe,
What you see when you see me?

In a world full of questions,
I like to ask myself,

If normal is something we aim for,
Why all those trophies on our shelves?

Because awards come from Oddity,
Where you do things with your heart,

And if you do them Normally,
You're hopeless from the start,

Oddity is what
A Stand for Sexuality.I’ve been waiting a while to get the chance and write this just to put it out there and try and make a difference. First of all;

Definition of Homosexual:
adjective
(of a person) sexually attracted to people of one's own sex.
• involving or characterized by sexual attraction between people of the same sex: homosexual desire.
noun
a person who is sexually attracted to people of their own sex.

Definition of Homophobia:
noun
an extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people.

Now I guarantee that so many people who are homophobic or are uncomfortable with homosexuals, bisexuals, or anyone that is not hetero
If OnlyIf only you could understand the depths to which I hate myself; like a maniac bottled inside a cage with barbed wire around his throat. If only you could see the blood I've shed, bottled up and buried with the last remnants of my being, just to stop offending your eyes. If only you could fathom the horrors these two eyes have lived; so potent in the night, rendering me sleepless still. If only you could feel the fire burning in my chest; the relentless yearning transfixed behind thick walls of flesh. If only you could touch the longing; so desperate, like a fish that swims through sewers, calling out behind dark corners; begging for another l
Blame and TrustNo one really thinks about it when they pick up the knife,

“Yo-ho! I’m here, the party can start now baby!” a girl with dark brown hair, it could be easily be mistaken as black in shadows. In truth there was a faint violent tang to it from her most recent hair-dye. She wore a black tank top and blue jeans there were broken on the knees. A black wrist band and her hair was clipped up making it spike and bounce with each step. Her shoes were black but had a white stripe on the very bottom. She also wore a dark azure ring on the opposite hand, around her middle finger. The way her right side of her face was a long thick hair l
Twisted SmilesI stand here looking at the cloudy sky above me. It smiles its most maniacal smiles and laughs as rain begins to pour from the murky heavens. I simply stare into the rain and begin to smile back.

It is my most delirious smile, full of mischief and laughter. The rain responds with a quiet gust of laughing wind. My twisted smile, it curves even further.

I take a deep breath and laugh, knowing that inside of this madness, that this is where I want to be. It is here where my heart desires to be, it is here where I belong, it is here where I am immersed in this sunken abyss.

The raven with his call of laughter, he never seemed so loud. Even in
This ManThis man is different from Pa. He's like a distinct reflection, making my world and understanding different than before.

Ma says that this man once told her that Pa was stupid to drop our family. After that, I always sat in my room--well, a room not MY room--wondering..........what was so special about my family? We're probably one of the worst families there is. A lost woman, now the head of a bunch of lost members, a dazed teenager, an isolated gamer, a quick tempered girl and two pets, who would want to choose us?

His family is more interesting. His wife is one of the religious group leaders at church, his daughter is a high school gradu
Cold Blooded Lovers"What if I told you...I still loved you?" She confessed.

His eyes, closed while his throat twitched with laughter.
"Who could ever love a girl like you? You were the worst
decision of my life! You don't know how long I've waited
to tell you that!" His lips, dry from the heartless yelling
lead to his back facing her.

A grin crept across her drenched mouth before a deep sigh
slithered out. "Who could ever love a girl like me?
You're right. Who could? After all, it was you who
created this? You made sure no one else could love me?
Made damn sure that I would be convinced you could
only love me." Once again, that deep breath escaped
her lips
Pre and Post Routine"Cut, cut, cut my skin
Take my pain away.
Quickity, quickity, quickity, quick
I wash it down the drain.

Now, now, let it bleed
Let them bleed away.
Soon, soon, they will heal
And scars they will be made."

I stood in front of the mirror, undressed with the shower on behind me. My face turned sour at my reflection making it all too easy to duck down and take the pencil sharpener blade from my pocket. Easily I could see the marks where my too-tight-bra would grip and began slicing inside those lines.

At first they weren't deep enough. Then I pressed harder and cut wildly on my side, back, the side of and underneath my breast, and then low in
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More from *katwatrous

Sunset CastlesSunset Castles

Somewhere past the sorrow and pain.
There is a land with stars that sing.
A sky that paints.
And a castle there awaits.
Where harmony is leaking everywhere you turn.
Sadness has no sound.
Neither does death under the ground.
A sunset castle is what I see.
When the skies blend forever in a constant pattern.
Like needle work it takes time and skill.
But nothing there is done wrong.
I listen and hear the stars sing their song.
-TheDarkKitteh 
Clowns and MimesClowns and Mimes

The circus of life glows outside our doors.
The poor souls that once wept now smile bright.
Makeup smeared on their faces.
They play the part they were born to play.
And they dance away.
Once clowns and mimes.
They now are kings and queens over their lives.
Laughing and joking, they blow me away.
Every time and everyday. 
They've spread their wings and learned to fly.
No limits to their greatness.
No tape wrapped around their minds.
The clowns and mimes.
Wearing robes of sapphire and robes of ruby.
Crowns on their heads.
And rings of color on their hands.
Living and loving life.
The wounds they once bor
Gleaming DreamsGleaming Dreams

You sit there with your eyes gleaming bright.
Like a bird about to take flight.
I watch in admiration.
Imagining my own dream.
The thought pops the seams to my heart.
Like a dart it hits the target.
The target of my desire.
Gleaming dreams invade my mind.
Time after time.
-TheDarkKitteh
Fountain of YouthFountain of Youth

Would immortality be a blessing or a curse?
Is it something that is granted upon those worthy?
Or is it some shooting star everybody is trying to catch?
What if the fountain of youth flowed in secret?
Like a gold rush, they would fight over a drop.
Afraid of the afterlife, of the uncertainty.
Too eager to taste endless days upon their lips.
They'd fill their goblets full and drink away their fate. 
Not realizing how horrifying life can be.
But they made the mistake of wishing.
And so they drank.
-TheDarkKitteh
Broken CompassBroken Compass

Where will I go?
And how will I get there?
That doesn't matter while I stare at my broken compass.
I look up at the watercolor sky.
The sun bleeding through the sunset.
I sigh with contentment.
Imagining the adventure that lies ahead of me.
I set foot down the path of my future.
Not caring what happened in my past.
All of that behind at last.
-TheDarkKitteh
Shattered SmilesShattered Smiles

What is a smile?
Is it a way of expressing happiness?
Or is it a disguise to blanket sorrow?
I wonder what a smile is.
I see them everywhere I turn.
Eyes give away emotion, some say.
But a smile is traded everyday.
A shattered smile is all I see.
When a mirror looks back at me.
-TheDarkKitteh

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 :iconmybookofdreams: #MyBookOfDreams
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July 18, 2011
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Sugar Coated Melodies

:iconkatwatrous:

Sugar Coated Melodies

Engulfed in melodies so sweet.
My mind floats away into a world of unknown.
Diving past the pain, I smile.
Imagining, creating and shaping the unknown.
Birthing ideas, forming inside my subconscious mind.
Sugar coated melodies I hear.
Melting and morphing, they sing.
Almost into a trance I am.
Listening carefully to such harmony.
Colors splatter around me, painting perfection.
Letters paste themselves into words.
Creating brilliant ideas and thoughts.
Beating and humming, they come to me.
Like sugar coated melodies.
-TheDarkKitteh 
:iconkatwatrous:
I was listening to sweet, sweet music while I wrote this. <3
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:iconbeaucyphre:
Critique by *BeauCyphre Nov 16, 2011, 10:11:34 PM
I like this little gem describing so wonderfully and poetically the process of creation:

"Engulfed in melodies so sweet."

This is where it so often starts - for me, too. Listening to music is the first step that leads to the next:

"My world floats away into a world of unknown."

Maybe this world is called Boo'ya Moon, like Stephen King put it in his strange novel Lisey's Story, maybe it's another world we don't know the name yet. But fishing there it feels really close, and diving is the right word to describe what we do when we go and stay there for a while. Whatever this world behind the curtain - or behind the mirror, if you like - is, it's a magical place, and you know that for sure. So let's go behind the purple to see what we can get there, and let's wish to come back safe, 'cause it's dangerous to go there in the dark when strange creatures drink down by the pool.
And maybe it's just our imagination... well, we know better, don't we?
What do you think?
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:iconmuse-of-thor:
Mood: Love =Muse-of-Thor Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
So beautiful!
..reminds me of a certain song by Amorphis..

:love:
Reply
:iconkatwatrous:
*katwatrous Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! :D
Reply
:iconmuse-of-thor:
=Muse-of-Thor Nov 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconlisa-schneider:
Mood: Love =Lisa-Schneider Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
this is so utterly beautiful! :heart:
and I also know this feeling of listening to lovely music that leads us to inspiration and thoughts, stories....
I truely love your work! (:
Reply
:iconkatwatrous:
*katwatrous Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :D
Music is like an angel that can guide us into the light of creativity, if we open up both our heart and mind and let it sink into our souls. :)
Glad you enjoyed it! It makes me grin ear-to-ear when I read comments like yours, the sun always seems to shine brighter when one is happy. :)
Reply
:iconlisa-schneider:
=Lisa-Schneider Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
oh my, even your response is so much more than beautifully written! :love:
It makes me happy to hear you like my small feedback, makes me smile too! (: :boogie:
just keep it up dear! <33
Reply
:iconkatwatrous:
*katwatrous Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
I'm so happy that I am at a loss of words! :D
I don't plan to stop writing any time soon! :)
Reply
:iconlisa-schneider:
=Lisa-Schneider Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
:heart:
Reply
:iconbeaucyphre:
*BeauCyphre Nov 16, 2011  Professional Writer
I like this little gem describing so wonderfully and poetically the process of creation:

"Engulfed in melodies so sweet."

This is where it so often starts - for me, too. Listening to music is the first step that leads to the next:

"My world floats away into a world of unknown."

Maybe this world is called Boo'ya Moon, like Stephen King put it in his strange novel Lisey's Story, maybe it's another world we don't know the name yet. But fishing there it feels really close, and diving is the right word to describe what we do when we go and stay there for a while. Whatever this world behind the curtain - or behind the mirror, if you like - is, it's a magical place, and you know that for sure. So let's go behind the purple to see what we can get there, and let's wish to come back safe, 'cause it's dangerous to go there in the dark when strange creatures drink down by the pool.
And maybe it's just our imagination... well, we know better, don't we?
Reply
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